Birth work is a calling

Ive been a birth worker for almost a decade and it all started with getting pregnant. Many birth workers experience the igniting of their passion for birth keeping from their own doulas or midwives, just like me. You know, with how much information we need to know before giving birth, you'd think we'd be taught about these things as young adults...but the world is not yet there. I gave birth to my daughter at home, and to my son in a hospital. Both births were radically impactful and taught me more than i could have ever imaged.

A little history

Though i have worn many hats in my life, i feel that everything i did prior to birth work was preparing me for what i am here on this earth to do. I started off with a tough upbringing, attended 13 different schools, including out of country in Brazil and i experienced homelessness as a child but I managed to secure a scholarship to UCLA at 17 where i would study to become an MD. Though i did not know midwifery existed, i knew i wanted to work with children. I never went to UCLA though, while taking pre meds i was offered a record deal with Atlantic Records and well, what 17/18 year old is going to say no to that? It was a fun few years! but its not my true calling, and i knew that the second i peed on a pregnancy test and saw a positive result. I immersed myself entirely into the world of childbirth and attended my first birth as a doula at 12 weeks pregnant. I will never forget that moment, when that baby boy was born, because it was the moment i knew exactly why i was put on this earth. Some years later, i enrolled into midwifery school. Shortly afterwards i went through some major life changes. Plans that i made to be able to complete midwifery school crumbled. But i did not give up. I met my now husband (well, re-met him - hes my best friends little brother haha) and this previously single mother of one who was struggling to sort out how to be a student, work, and raise my daughter alone all of a sudden had a huge support system, love, got married, and had another baby on the way (all during a pandemic). My hope is that within the next 18 months i can be back here, telling you that i am now a licensed midwife. Though i am at the tail end of my training and considered a primary student, i have two small kiddos at home. So i take it day by day, and know that the time will come. So long as i am serving my community, and always learning, i feel that i am in the right place. 

Why this work matters to me

I believe that at birth, the human nervous system integrates a concrete belief about the world. one that they carry into their lives, even as adults. I believe it can go one of two ways. 

1. the world is safe

2. the world is not safe

When the world is safe, we feel oxytocin (our love and bonding hormone) we feel love, security, comfort, and peace. We feel that the world is a good place, a place where there is connection and trust. When the world is not safe, the nervous system goes into fight or flight. We must survive. Being in survival mode, we flood our bodies with stress hormones and might feel indifference about the world. We might have a hard time trusting or relying on others. We might feel like the world is not a good place by nature, but one where we must be cautious and careful. 

Does this carry into adult hood in the way that i believe it does? i don't have the answer, just a belief. But what if more babies were born believing that the world is safe? What if their introduction into the world was beautiful? What if birth was seen as a normal and beautiful part of life? What if parents could feel confident, safe, heard, and excited about childbirth? i believe these things can positively impact the family as a whole longterm. 

I cannot only speak on my beliefs for babies, because mothers matter immensely in this process. I believe that child birth is the death of the maiden, and the birth of the mother. In that moment, its not only her baby that is born but she too, is born. Not a day will pass again for the rest of her life that she is not a mother, and she will never again be the maiden. No matter the circumstances. No matter the outcome. I believe that women deserve to be heard, trusted, and engaged in their care and in their births. They deserve to feel like active participants, who are in charge of their bodies and their babies. Not like birth is happening to them. Child birth is so much more than a baby being born (though that is magical) child birth is a pivotal life changing event, one that impacts mothers forever. How we feel when we give birth trickles into how we feel about ourselves as parents, as partners, and as individuals.

Birth trauma is a very challenging and unique type of trauma. Where something beautiful ( a new life ) entered the world, something we felt we had no control over happened to our bodies. We often feel guilty or shameful for having negative emotions when we have been so blessed with a baby. Or, we experienced loss. I have had two miscarriages myself. Grief that comes with missing something that was there, but kind of wasn't... something that was so brief, but will last forever. How we are treated and spoken to after these traumatic events is critical to our ability to heal and restore ourselves. We need support to navigate an event of this sort, but often we do not have it and do not know where to find it. Often, clients come to me after having experienced birth trauma and now they are wanting a different experience. A big part of my goals as a birth worker is to educate before hand, so that we can set ourselves up to better avoid birth trauma entirely. When we are informed, heard, and respected, we can move through whatever child birth brings us with much more peace. 

So my lifes' mission, and why this work matters to me most, is to restore our birth culture to the best of my ability by assisting women as they birth 

on their terms.